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Lady Frederick

That's charming. You shall take me for a drive in it every day. I hope you're going to stay some time.

Madame Claude

That depends on circumstances, Lady Frederick. I 'ave a little business to do here.

Lady Frederick

Then let me give you one warning – don't gamble.

Madame Claude

Oh, no, my lady. I gamble quite enough in my business as it is. I never know when my customers will pay their bills – if ever.

Lady Frederick

[Slightly taken aback.] Ha, ha, ha.

Fouldes

[With a deep guffaw.] Ho, ho, ho.

Lady Frederick

Isn't she clever? I must tell that to the Archduchess. She'll be so amused. Ha, ha, ha, ha. The dear Archduchess, you know she loves a little joke. You must really meet her. Will you come and lunch? I know you'd hit it off together.

Madame Claude

[More genially.] That's very kind of your ladyship.

Lady Frederick

My dear, you know perfectly well that I've always looked upon you as one of my best friends. Now who shall we have? There's you and me and the Archduchess. Then I'll ask Lord Mereston.

Madame Claude

The Marquess of Mereston, Lady Frederick?

Lady Frederick

Yes. And Mr. Fouldes, his uncle.

Madame Claude

Excuse me, are you the Mr. Paradine Fouldes?

Fouldes

[Bowing.] At your service, madam.

Madame Claude

I'm so glad to make your acquaintance, Mr. Fouldes. [Unctuously.] I've always heard you're such a bad man.

Fouldes

Madam, you overwhelm me with confusion.

Madame Claude

Believe me, Mr. Fouldes, it's not the ladies that are married to saints who take the trouble to dress well.

Lady Frederick

Now we want a third man. Shall we ask my brother – you know Sir Gerald O'Mara, don't you? Or shall we ask Prince Doniani? Yes, I think we'll ask the Prince. I'm sure you'd like him. Such a handsome man! That'll make six.

Madame Claude

It's very kind of you, Lady Frederick, but – well, I'm only a tradeswoman, you know.

Lady Frederick

A tradeswoman? How can you talk such nonsense. You are an artist – a real artist, my dear. And an artist is fit to meet a king.

Madame Claude

Well, I don't deny that I'd be ashamed to dress my customers in the gowns I see painted at the Royal Academy.

Lady Frederick

Then it's quite settled, isn't it, Madame Claude – oh, may I call you Ada?

Madame Claude

Oh, Lady Frederick, I should be very much flattered. But how did you know that was my name?

Lady Frederick

Why you wrote me a letter only the other day.

Madame Claude

Did I?

Lady Frederick

And such a cross letter too.

Madame Claude

[Apologetically.] Oh, but Lady Frederick, that was only in the way of business. I don't exactly remember what expressions I may have made use of —

Lady Frederick

[Interrupting, as if the truth had suddenly flashed across her.] Ada! I do believe you came here to-day about my account.

Madame Claude

Oh, no, my lady, I promise you.

Lady Frederick

You did; I know you did. I see it in your face. Now that really wasn't nice of you. I thought you came as a friend.

Madame Claude

I did, Lady Frederick.

Lady Frederick

No, you wanted to dun me. I'm disappointed in you. I did think, after all the things I've had from you, you wouldn't treat me like that.

Madame Claude

But I assure your ladyship…

Lady Frederick

Not another word. You came to ask for a cheque. You shall have it.

Madame Claude

No, Lady Frederick, I wouldn't take it.

Lady Frederick

What is the exact figure, Madame Claude?

Madame Claude

I – I don't remember.

Lady Frederick

Seven hundred and fifty pounds, seventeen and ninepence. You see, I remember. You came for your cheque and you shall have it.

[She sits down and takes a pen.
Madame Claude

Now, Lady Frederick, I should look upon that as most unkind. It's treating me like a very second-rate establishment.

Lady Frederick

I'm sorry, but you should have thought of that before. Now I haven't got a cheque; how tiresome.

Madame Claude

Oh, it doesn't matter, Lady Frederick. I promise you it never entered my 'ead.

Lady Frederick

What shall I do?

Fouldes

You can write it on a sheet of paper, you know.

Lady Frederick

[With a look, aside to him.] Monster! [Aloud.] Of course I can. I hadn't thought of that. [She takes a sheet of paper.] But how on earth am I to get a stamp?

Fouldes

[Much amused.] I happen to have one on me.

Lady Frederick

I wonder why on earth you should have English stamps in Monte Carlo?

Fouldes

[Handing her one.] A penny stamp may sometimes save one a hundred louis.

Lady Frederick

[Ironically.] Thanks so much. I write the name of my bank on the top, don't I? Pay Madame Claude…

Madame Claude

Now, it's no good, Lady Frederick, I won't take it. After all I 'ave my self-respect to think of.

Lady Frederick

It's too late now.

Madame Claude

[Sniffing a little.] No, no, Lady Frederick. Don't be too 'ard on me. As one lady to another I ask you to forgive me. I did come about my account, but – well, I don't want the money.

Lady Frederick

[Looking up good-humouredly.] Well, well. [She looks at the cheque.] It shall be as you wish. There. [She tears it up.]

Madame Claude

Oh, thank you, Lady Frederick. I look upon that as a real favour. And now I really must be getting off.

Lady Frederick

Must you go? Well, good-bye. Paradine, take Madame Claude to her motor. Ada!

[She kisses her on the cheek.
Madame Claude

[Going.] I am pleased to have seen you.

[Paradine offers his arm and goes out with Madame Claude. Lady Frederick goes to the window, stands on a chair and waves her handkerchief. While she is doing this Captain Montgomerie enters.
Captain Montgomerie

How d'you do?

Lady Frederick

[Getting down.] How nice of you to come. I wanted to see you.

Captain Montgomerie

May I sit down?

Lady Frederick

Of course. There are one or two things I'd like to talk to you about.

Captain Montgomerie

Yes?

Lady Frederick

First I must thank you for your great kindness to Gerald. I didn't know last night that he owed you a good deal of money.

Captain Montgomerie

It's a mere trifle.

Lady Frederick

You must be very rich to call nine hundred pounds that?

Captain Montgomerie

I am.

Lady Frederick

[With a laugh.] All the same it's extremely good of you to give him plenty of time.

Captain Montgomerie

I told Gerald he could have till to-morrow.

Lady Frederick

Obviously he wants to settle with you as soon as ever he can.

Captain Montgomerie

[Quietly.] I often wonder why gambling debts are known as debts of honour.

Lady Frederick

[Looking at him steadily.] Of course I realise that if you choose to press for the money and Gerald can't pay – he'll have to send in his papers.

Captain Montgomerie

[Lightly.] You may be quite sure I have no wish to bring about such a calamity. By the way, have you thought over our little talk of last night?

Lady Frederick

No.

Captain Montgomerie

You would have been wise to do so.

Lady Frederick

My dear Captain Montgomerie, you really can't expect me to marry you because my brother has been so foolish as to lose more money at poker than he can afford.

Captain Montgomerie

Did you ever hear that my father was a money-lender?

Lady Frederick

A lucrative profession, I believe.

Captain Montgomerie

He found it so. He was a Polish Jew called Aaron Levitzki. He came to this country with three shillings in his pocket. He lent half-a-crown of it to a friend on the condition that he should be paid back seven and six in three days.

Lady Frederick

I'm not good at figures, but the interest sounds rather high.

Captain Montgomerie

It is. That was one of my father's specialities. From these humble beginnings his business grew to such proportions that at his death he was able to leave me the name and arms of the great family of Montgomerie and something over a million of money.

Lady Frederick

The result of thrift, industry, and good fortune.

Captain Montgomerie

My father was able to gratify all his ambitions but one. He was eaten up with the desire to move in good society, and this he was never able to achieve. His dying wish was that I should live in those circles which he knew only…

Lady Frederick

Across the counter?

Captain Montgomerie

Precisely. But my poor father was a little ignorant in these matters. To him one lord was as good as another. He thought a Marquess a finer man than an Earl, and a Viscount than a Baron. He would never have understood that a penniless Irish baronet might go into better society than many a belted earl.

Lady Frederick

And what is the application of this?

Captain Montgomerie

I wanted to explain to you one of the reasons which emboldened me last night to make you a proposal of marriage.

Lady Frederick

But surely you know some very nice people. I saw you lunching the other day with the widow of a city knight.

Captain Montgomerie

Many very excellent persons are glad to have me to dine with them. But I know quite well that they're not the real article. I'm as far off as ever from getting into those houses which you have been used to all your life. I'm not content with third-rate earls and rather seedy dowagers.

Lady Frederick

Forgive my frankness, but – aren't you rather a snob?

Captain Montgomerie

My father, Aaron Levitzki, married an English woman, and I have all the English virtues.

Lady Frederick

But I'm not quite sure that people would swallow you even as my husband.

Captain Montgomerie

They'd make a face, but they'd swallow me right enough. And when I asked them down to the best shoot in England they'd come to the conclusion that I agreed with them very well.

Lady Frederick

[Still rather amused.] Your offer is eminently businesslike, but you see I'm not a business woman. It doesn't appeal to me.

Captain Montgomerie

I only ask you to perform such of the duties of a wife as are required by Society. They are few enough in all conscience. I should wish you to entertain largely and receive my guests, be polite to me, at least in public, and go with me to the various places people go to. Otherwise I leave you entire freedom. You will find me generous and heedful to all your wishes.

Lady Frederick

Captain Montgomerie, I don't know how much of all that you have said is meant seriously. But, surely you're not choosing the right time to make such a proposal when my brother owes you so much money that if you care to be hard you can ruin him.

Captain Montgomerie

Why not?

Lady Frederick

D'you mean to say…?

Captain Montgomerie

I will be quite frank with you. I should never have allowed Gerald to lose so much money which there was no likelihood of his being able to pay, if I had not thought it earned me some claim upon your gratitude.

Lady Frederick

[Shortly.] Gerald will pay every penny he owes you to-morrow.

Captain Montgomerie

[Blandly.] Where d'you suppose he'll get it?

Lady Frederick

I have no doubt I shall be able to manage something.

Captain Montgomerie

Have you not tried this morning, entirely without success?

Lady Frederick

[Startled.] What?

Captain Montgomerie

You do not forget that you have sundry moneys of your own which are payable to-morrow?

Lady Frederick

How d'you know that?

Captain Montgomerie

I told you that when I took a thing in hand I carried it through. You went to Dick Cohen, and he told you he'd parted with the bills. Didn't you guess that only one man could have the least interest in taking them over?

Lady Frederick

You?

Captain Montgomerie

Yes.

Lady Frederick

Oh, God.

Captain Montgomerie

Come, come, don't be worried over it. There's nothing to be alarmed about. I'm a very decent chap – if you'd accepted me right away you would never have known that those bills were in my possession. Think it over once more. I'm sure we should get on well together. I can give you what you most need, money and the liberty to fling it away as recklessly as you choose; you can give me the assured and fixed position on which – my father's heart was set.

Lady Frederick

And if I don't accept, you'll make me a bankrupt and you'll ruin Gerald?

Captain Montgomerie

I refuse to consider that very unpleasant alternative.

Lady Frederick

Oh! I can't, I can't.

Captain Montgomerie

[Laughing.] But you must, you must. When shall I come for your answer? To-morrow? I'll come with the bills and Gerald's I.O.U. in my pocket, and you shall burn them yourself. Good-bye.

[He kisses her hand and goes out. Lady Frederick remains staring in front of her. Mereston enters, followed by Lady Mereston and Paradine.
Mereston

[Going to her eagerly.] Hulloa! I wondered what on earth had become of you.

Lady Frederick

[With a laugh.] It's only two hours since I chased you away from me.

Mereston

I'm afraid I bore you to death.

Lady Frederick

Don't be so silly. You know you don't.

Mereston

Where are you going now?

Lady Frederick

I have rather a headache. I'm going to lie down.

Mereston

I'm so sorry.

[Lady Frederick goes out. Mereston stares after her anxiously, and makes a step towards the door.
Lady Mereston

[Sharply.] Where are you going, Charlie?

Mereston

I never asked Lady Frederick if I could do anything.

Lady Mereston

Good heavens, there are surely plenty of servants in the hotel to get her anything she wants.

Mereston

Don't you think a drive in the motor would do her good?

Lady Mereston

[Unable to control herself.] Oh, I have no patience with you. I never saw such a ridiculous infatuation in my life.

Paradine

Steady, old girl, steady.

Mereston

What on earth d'you mean, mother?

Lady Mereston

Presumably you're not going to deny that you're in love with that woman.

Mereston

[Growing pale.] Would you mind speaking of her as Lady Frederick?

Lady Mereston

You try me very much, Charlie. Please answer my question.

Mereston

I don't want to seem unkind to you, mother, but I think you have no right to ask about my private affairs.

Fouldes

If you're going to talk this matter over you're more likely to come to an understanding if you both keep your tempers.

Mereston

There's nothing I wish to discuss.

Lady Mereston

Don't be absurd, Charlie. You're with Lady Frederick morning, noon and night. She can never stir a yard from the hotel but you go flying after. You pester her with your ridiculous attentions.

Fouldes

[Blandly.] One's relations have always such an engaging frankness. Like a bad looking-glass, they always represent you with a crooked nose and a cast in your eye.

Lady Mereston

[To Mereston.] I have certainly a right to know what you mean by all this and what is going to come of it.

Mereston

I don't know what will come of it.

Fouldes

The question that excites our curiosity is this: are you going to ask Lady Frederick to marry you?

Mereston

I refuse to answer that. It seems to me excessively impertinent.

Fouldes

Come, come, my boy, you're too young to play the heavy father. We're both your friends. Hadn't you better make a clean breast of it? After all, your mother and I are interested in nothing so much as your welfare.

Lady Mereston

[Imploring.] Charlie!

Mereston

Of course I'd ask her to marry me if I thought for a moment that she'd accept. But I'm so terrified that she'll refuse, and then perhaps I shall never see her again.

Lady Mereston

The boy's stark, staring mad.

Mereston
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