Of course it was not certain yet that Walter knew the truth, but if he did, well, in the end it would be the best thing for all of them. At first she had put up with seeing Charlie only secretly; but time had increased her passion and for a while now she had been increasingly impatient of the obstacles which prevented them from being always together. He had told her so often that he cursed his position which forced him to be so cautious, the ties which bound him, and the ties which bound her. She saw his point of view; no one wanted a scandal, and of course it required a lot of thinking over before you changed the course of your life.
It was not as though any one would suffer very much. She knew exactly what his relations were with his wife. She was a cold woman and there had been no love between them for years. It was habit that held them together, convenience, and of course the children. It was easier for Charlie than for her: Walter loved her; but after all, he was absorbed in his work; and a man always had his club; he might be upset at first, but he would get over it; there was no reason why he should not marry someone else.
She wondered, why a little while before she had been terrified at the thought that Walter had caught them. Of course it was startling to see the handle of the door slowly turn. But after all they knew the worst that Walter could do, and they were ready for it.
Walter was a gentleman, and he loved her; he would allow her to divorce him. They had made a mistake and the lucky thing was that they had found it out before it was too late. She made up her mind exactly what she was going to say to him. She would be kind, smiling, and firm. There was no need for them to quarrel. Later on she would always be glad to see him. She hoped honestly that the two years they had spent together would remain with him as a priceless memory.
“I don’t suppose Dorothy Townsend will mind divorcing Charlie a bit,” she thought. “Now the youngest boy is going back to England it will be much nicer for her to be in England too. There’s absolutely nothing for her to do in Hong Kong. She’ll be able to spend all the holidays with her boys. And then she’s got her father and mother in England.”
It was all very simple and everything could be managed without scandal. And then she and Charlie could marry. They would be very happy.
Sooner or later Walter must come home and her heart beat fast at the thought of meeting him; it was strange that he had gone away that afternoon without saying a word to her. Once more she repeated what she would say to him. What was the good of making a scene? She was very sorry, she didn’t want to cause him pain, but she couldn’t help it if she didn’t love him. It was no good pretending and it was always better to tell the truth. She hoped he wouldn’t be unhappy, but they had made a mistake and the only sensible thing was to acknowledge it. She would always think kindly of him.
But even as she said this to herself she was frightened. And because she was frightened she grew angry with him. Oh, how he’d bored her, bored her, bored her! He thought himself so much better than anyone else; he had no sense of humour; she hated his arrogance, his coldness, and his self-control. It was easy to be self-controlled when you were interested in nothing and nobody but yourself. He was disgusting to her. She hated to let him kiss her. He danced awfully, he couldn’t play or sing, he couldn’t play polo and his tennis was no better than anybody else’s. Bridge? Who cared about bridge?
Kitty worked herself up[18]. Let him dare to reproach her. All that had happened was his own fault. She was thankful that he knew the truth at last. She hated him and wished never to see him again. Yes, she was thankful that it was all over. Why couldn’t he leave her alone?
She heard the car stop at the gate of their garden. He was coming up the stairs.
He came into the room: her heart was beating wildly and her hands were shaking; it was lucky that she lay on the sofa. She was holding an open book as though she had been reading. He stood for an instant on the threshold and their eyes met. Her heart sank. His face was deathly pale; she had seen it like that once before, when they sat together in the Park and he asked her to marry him. He knew everything.
“You’re back early,” she remarked.
Her lips trembled so that she could hardly say the words. She was terrified. She was afraid she would faint.
“I think it’s about the usual time.”
His voice sounded strange to her. She wondered if he saw that she was shaking. He dropped his eyes.
“I’m just going to dress.”
He left the room. For two or three minutes she could not move. Then she got up not knowing if her legs would support her. With one hand on the wall she went to her room. She put on a tea-gown and when she went back into her boudoir (they only used the drawing-room when there was a party) he was standing at a table looking at the pictures of a magazine. She had to force herself to enter.
“Shall we go down? Dinner is ready,” he said.
“Have I kept you waiting?”
It was dreadful that she could not control the trembling of her lips.
When was he going to speak?
They sat down and for a moment there was silence between them. Then he said something unimportant.
She looked at him now and saw that his eyes were fixed on his plate. He made another observation, equally trivial, about a tennis tournament. His voice as a rule was agreeable, but now he spoke on one note. It was strangely unnatural. And all the time his eyes were directed to his plate, or the table, or to a picture on the wall. She realized that he could not bear to look at her.
“Shall we go upstairs?” he said when dinner was finished.
“If you like.”
She rose and he held open the door for her. His eyes were cast down as she passed him. When they reached the sitting-room he took up the illustrated paper once more.
“Is this a new issue? I don’t think I’ve seen it.”
“I don’t know. I haven’t noticed.”
It had been lying about for a fortnight and she knew that he had looked it through and through. He took it and sat down. She lay again on the sofa and took her book. As a rule in the evening, when they were alone, they played cards. He was sitting in an armchair, and his attention seemed absorbed by the illustration he was looking at. He did not turn the page. She tried to read, but she could not see the print before her eyes. Her head began to ache violently. When would he speak?
They sat in silence for an hour. She was afraid to make the smallest gesture or the smallest sound. He sat quite still, in that same position, and stared with those wide, immobile eyes of his at the picture. His stillness was strangely threatening. It gave Kitty the feeling of a wild beast prepared to spring.
When suddenly he stood up she started. She clenched her hands and she felt herself grow pale. Now!
“I have some work to do,” he said in that quiet, toneless voice. “If you don’t mind I’ll go into my study. I think you’ll be asleep by the time I’ve finished.”
“I am rather tired tonight.”
“Well, good night.”
“Goodnight.”
He left the room.
As soon as she could next morning she rang Townsend up at his office:
“Yes, what is it?”
“I want to see you.”
“My dear, I’m awfully busy. I’m a working man.”
“It’s very important. Can I come down to the office?”
“Oh, no, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”
“Well, come here then.”
“I can’t possibly get away. What about this afternoon? And don’t you think it would be better if I didn’t come to your house?”
“I must see you at once.”
There was a pause.
“Are you there?” she asked anxiously.
“Yes, I was thinking. Has anything happened?”
“I can’t tell you over the telephone.”
There was another silence before he spoke again.
“Well, look here, I can manage to see you for ten minutes at one o’clock. You’d better go to Ku-Chou’s and I’ll come along as soon as I can.”
“The curio shop?” she asked in dismay.
“Well, we can’t meet in the hall at the Hong Kong Hotel,” he answered.
She noticed a trace of irritation in his voice.
“Very well. I’ll go to Ku-Chou’s.”
She went to the back of the shop and walked up the dark stairs. The Chinese followed her and unlocked the door that led into the bedroom. It was stuffy and there was a smell of opium. She sat down on a sandalwood chest.
In a moment she heard a heavy step on the creaking stairs. Townsend came in and shut the door behind him. His face bore a gloomy look, as he saw her it vanished, and he smiled in that charming way of his. He took her quickly in his arms and kissed her lips.
“Now what’s the trouble?” He sat down on the bed and lit a cigarette.
“I don’t think I closed my eyes all night.”
He gave her a look. He was smiling still, but his smile was a little unnatural. She thought there was a shade of anxiety in his eyes.
“He knows,” she said.
There was an instant’s pause before he answered.
“What did he say?”
“He hasn’t said anything.”
“What!” He looked at her sharply. “What makes you think he knows?”
“Everything. His look. The way he talked at dinner.”
“Was he disagreeable?”
“No, on the contrary, he was very polite. For the first time since we married he didn’t kiss me good night.”
She was not sure if Charlie understood. As a rule Walter took her in his arms and pressed his lips to hers and would not let them go. His whole body grew tender and passionate with his kiss.
“Why do you think he didn’t say anything?”
“I don’t know.”
There was a pause. Kitty sat very still on the sandalwood box and looked with anxious attention at Townsend. His face once more was gloomy. But all at once he looked up and a gleam of malicious amusement came into his eyes.
“I wonder if he is going to say anything.”
She did not answer. She did not know what he meant.
“After all, he wouldn’t be the first man who’s shut his eyes in a case of this sort. What can he gain by making a row?” His lips broke into a broad smile.
“You didn’t see his face last night.”
“I expect he was upset. It was naturally a shock. It’s a damned humiliating position for any man. He always looks a fool. Walter doesn’t give me the impression of a fellow who would wash a lot of dirty linen in public.”
“I don’t think he would,” she answered reflectively, “He’s very sensitive, I’ve discovered that.”
“That’s all to the good as far as we’re concerned. There’s only one way in which a man can save his face when he’s in that sort of position and that is to pretend he knows nothing. I am sure that is exactly what he’s going to do.”
The more Townsend talked the more cheerful he became. He irradiated an encouraging confidence.
“The chances are that I will be Colonial Secretary when Simmons goes home, and it’s to Walter’s interest to keep on the right side of me. He’s got his bread and butter to think of, like the rest of us: do you think the Colonial Office are going to do much for a fellow who makes a scandal? Believe me, he’s got everything to gain by keeping silence and everything to lose by making a row.”
Kitty moved uneasily. She knew how shy Walter was and she could believe that the fear of a scene, and the dread of public attention, might have influence upon him; but she could not believe that he would be affected by the thought of a material advantage. Perhaps she didn’t know him very well, but Charlie didn’t know him at all.
“Has it occurred to you that he’s madly in love with me?”
“Well, you know, women are often under the impression that men are much more madly in love with them than they really are.”
For the first time she laughed.
“I am sure you haven’t been bothering much about your husband lately. Perhaps he isn’t quite so much in love with you as he was.”
“At all events I don’t think that you are madly in love with me,” she replied.
“That’s where you’re wrong.”
Ah, how good it was to hear him say that! She knew it and her belief in his passion warmed her heart. As he spoke he rose from the bed and came and sat down beside her on the sandalwood box. He put his arm round her waist.
“Don’t worry your silly little head a moment longer,” he said. “I promise you there’s nothing to fear.”
She leaned towards him. The love she felt for him was almost torture. She put her arm lovingly round Charlie’s neck.
“You’re simply wonderful. I was shaking like a leaf when I came here and you’ve made everything all right.”
He took her face in his hands and kissed her lips.
“Darling.”
She gave a little laugh, a laugh of happy love and of triumph; his eyes were heavy with desire. He lifted her to her feet and not letting her go but holding her close to his breast he locked the door.
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