Meanwhile, Rita was changed into dry clothes, her hair braided, and she became like the grandmas' idea of a decent person.

«Hot kasha! Anyone? And no more eating at the computer!» Grandma said, putting the pot on the table.

«Why is breakfast called breakfast? Because it's eaten the next day?»^[2] Alena asked, digging a pit in the kasha to drip butter into.

Papa, having already returned by that time, thought about it. «Good question! Well, maybe breakfast is what people leave for the next day? Let's assume, part of the food was stored in the evening?» he suggested.

«Never leave anything for the morning! Germs multiply in food! That's all! Period!» Grandma Masha cut him off.

«That's understandable,» Papa agreed. «But ancient people didn't know this. Then again, they had glaciers, and that's an excellent natural fridge.»

After breakfast Alex accidentally found an apricot stone under the bench, and he wanted to break it with a hammer and eat the kernel. In order that Grandma Masha would not stop him, he ran off with the stone and the hammer to the back room. He set the stone on firm ground, swung the hammer and… heard a voice, «One guy came from the army! He began to crack apricot stones and died. His bowel got clogged. That's all.»

Alex jerked up his head and saw Great-Grandma Zina, who lay down to rest, up on her elbows watching him from the sofa. Recapturing his right to clog his bowel, Alex ran to the kitchen and got there just at the moment of gathering. Grandma was dressing Rita and attentively watching Costa putting on his boots.

«Children go for a walk! They must have fresh air! Period!» Grandma said sternly.

«Children» were understood to be absolutely everyone, even Peter, who was already showing peach fuzz. The stubbly Peter and the other smooth-faced youngsters did not dare to protest and went for a walk. Only Papa and Mama escaped, remaining at home, but the others could not escape. It was a very proper walk under the leadership of the orderly Grandma. Everyone walked to the playground holding hands, frightened by any car appearing in the distance.

«Car!» Grandma Masha screamed in a voice that usually screams «Air raid!» and all the children rushed to the lawns, while Grandma and Great-Grandma covered them with their chests. The driver was also usually frightened, stopped, and a confusing situation emerged: Grandma suspected the driver would move right there and the driver waved his hands and pressed the horn, begging Grandma to cross the road anyway, because he could not stand around for half an hour!

The children only looked wistfully askance in the direction of the stores, not allowing themselves to whine «Buy-y-y-y!» which Rita and Costa usually started. No one whined today because they knew that Grandma would not buy anything on the street. They must eat at home. At the table. Hands washed. That is all. Period.

Great-Grandma Zina, whom Grandma also took with her to get some air, was very slow. She stopped after every few metres, leaning on a fence or a tree for support. «I'll only rest for a minute!» she said. «Earlier I was like running! Oh, I was!» And she smiled, as if she did not believe that she was telling the truth.

Finally, everyone reached the playground.

«We're building up a reserve of health!» Grandma gave the order and suddenly, remembering something, stared sternly at Great-Grandma: «Mama, did you take medicine this morning?»

«Yes!» Great-Grandma hastily said.

«Not true! Why was the sink pink? Did you throw the pill into it?»

Great-Grandma sighed. «It's so bitter! Can I at least take it with chocolate?»

«What chocolate! You can't have sugar! Only fat-free yogurt!» Grandma Masha answered curtly.

Kate and Vicky exchanged glances. They realized that Grandma and Great-Grandma had changed roles long ago. Grandma had become a mother to her own mama, and Great-Grandma her daughter.

«Let's breathe! Don't get distracted! Nothing for us to hear!» Grandma ordered.

And all the children began to walk and breathe. True, minus Peter, who took off somewhere on another path after all. Alex whined, not having the opportunity to climb or fall anywhere, but Costa and Rita walked with pleasure. Except that they regretted that while one was swinging on the swing, the other must stand ten steps from the swing, observing safety precautions.

A suitable example was even found for offenders. «One paratrooper returned from the army. He took something and went to the playground. A swing hit him on the back of his head and put him down on the spot!» Great-Grandma said, and all the children fearfully fell silent, imagining to themselves this poor paratrooper and wondering why he had stood under the swing.

Great-Grandma Zina was sitting on a painted tire sunk into the ground and was holding Rita in her lap. Rita was very fond of Great-Grandma. She had already said «I love you!» to her about ten times, but had yet to say it to Grandma, and Grandma was secretly jealous.

At noon, Grandma Masha's alarm went off. It beeped once, so very distinctly without violating established traditions. «Now lunch and admiral's hour!» Grandma said sternly and the children went home.

After lunch, Grandma doggedly packed all the children, except the three older ones, to bed.

«We close our eyes! One hour of nap during the day is five hours of sleep at night!» she said.

«So we don't have to sleep at night?» Alena asked, suffering because she, a ten-year-old, was ranked among the little ones and trapped in bed.

«Need to sleep at night, too! That's all! We rest!» Grandma said and went to put Rita down in the small room.

Rita was heard throwing a tantrum, jumping on the bed, and repeating that she would not sleep. Then everything suddenly quieted down. Ten minutes passed, then fifteen. There was not a single sound from the room. Surprised that Grandma did not come out, Alena sneaked up to the door and opened it slightly, leaving a crack. When she returned, her eyes were round.

«She's sleeping!» she whispered.

«Who? Rita?»

«Grandma! She announced the admiral's hour and fell asleep herself! Ha-ha-ha!»

«And Rita?»

«And Rita's also sleeping! Let's go!»

Alex and Costa also leaped out of bed, and all the children rushed downstairs. Downstairs, they saw Great-Grandma Zina, who was reading an old magazine through a magnifier, at times starting to doze off. Great-Grandma read a lot, and indiscriminately, everything that fell into her hands. She could attentively read the flyers used to wrap purchases from the market, five minutes later it was Preparation of History for EGE,^[3] forgotten by Peter on the bench, and then suddenly Remarque^[4] or Chekhov^[5] appeared in her hands. Soon enough they also disappeared somewhere, but a newspaper was discovered, and Great-Grandma was again reading it.

When the children appeared downstairs, Great-Grandma raised her head and looked at them with alarm. For the first second she thought that perhaps it was Grandma Masha. Realizing that this was not Grandma, Great-Grandma smiled with relief and stopped hiding the fruit pastille, which she, breaking into pieces, was stuffing in her mouth.

Alena, Alex, and Costa surrounded Great-Grandma and began to talk with her. Very soon Peter, Vicky, and Kate joined them.

«Great-Grandma, Great-Grandma! Let's buy ice cream while Grandma is sleeping!» suggested Alena.

«Is she really sleeping?» Great-Grandma did not believe her.

«You bet! We saw it ourselves!»

Great-Grandma Zina pondered. She loved ice cream. But still she was in doubt. «One guy came from the army, ate a lot of ice cream…» she began in a squeaky voice.

«…he came down with acute tonsillitis and died?» Peter guessed.

«How do you know? I already told you that?» Great-grandma was surprised.

«No,» said Peter. «It happened in our school. It's a well-known case in science.»

Kate kicked Peter. «Stop! So, are we going for ice cream? Huh, Gram?»

Great-Grandma put aside the magnifier and leaned her hands on the table. «Let's!» she said, chewing her lips. «Give me my cane and my purse!»

Great-Grandma Zina's handbag was old, of imitation leather, with a thick plastic handle and a metal clasp that snapped like a pistol with pistons.

«Maybe you can give us money and we'll run and get it?» Peter suggested, afraid that while they walked, Grandma Masha would have time to wake up.

«Certainly not! I want it myself! I'll even look at many things. What kind of store is there? A candy store?»

Great-Grandma got dressed pretty quickly. All the children also got dressed quickly, because they understood that the matter was secret and important. Then they all went out onto the street and, grasping Great-Grandma's elbows, began to drag her to the candy store.

«Oh, not so fast! Oh, not so fast! Let me stand for a minute!» Great-Grandma wailed.

The older children stood patiently, letting her rest, but the younger ones could not stand and were bouncing around.

«Do you have money? You didn't forget?» Costa suddenly asked with concern.

Great-Grandma looked anxiously into her purse. «A bit,» she said. «Oh, how nice that you took me! I haven't been in a store for some five years!»

«Doesn't Grandma buy you sweets?»

«Rarely. The neighbours bring a little. But she says I'm not allowed, I have blood sugar.»

«So you're not allowed someone else's sugar, because you have your own? What luck!» Alex exclaimed.

«I can have everything,» Great-Grandma objected philosophically, pursing her lips. «Though, maybe, also not. But a little, I probably can.»

Finally, they reached the bakery, where there was a large candy department. Grandma went up the three steps and leaned against the wall. «Ugh! Exactly like being dragged to the tenth floor!» she complained and, after catching her breath, began to look with interest at the shelves. «Oh! How many new things have appeared! Now, five years ago I didn't see these round candies here with fruit jelly in the middle! And these very long new ones! There were lemon wedges! And drops! And these chocolates here were issued in wrappings!»

«Is your grandma from an uninhabited island?» the salesgirl asked Peter in a whisper.

«No, from Moscow,» said Alex.

«Ahh!» the salesgirl said slowly in amazement.

Great-Grandma was already standing at the shelves and gleefully going through bags of cookies and all sorts of sweets. «Do you have chocolate? With jam? And shortbread? But not very sweet?» she asked worriedly.

«No such thing,» said the salesgirl.

«Well, then give us three hundred grams in total! In fact, all that you have!» Great-Grandma said.

«And chocolate!» Peter whispered.

«And chocolate!» Great-Grandma repeated.

Costa asked again if she had enough money.

«There's enough,» Great-Grandma said bravely. «And if we're off by a lot, we'll set aside the extra. Get what you want!» Alena, Alex, and Costa were standing next to Great-Grandma and shouting, each pointing at his favourite. Everyone was pulling her by the hand in his direction.

Suddenly, a phone rang in Great-Grandma's bag. She found it and punched a big button blindly.

«Hello, Masha! Yes, the children are with me! What are we doing? Taking a walk! I'll call you back soon!» Great-Grandma said into the phone and, looking imploringly at her great-grandchildren, put the phone in her bag. «I didn't lie. Just kept quiet about something!» she said guiltily.

«Who was that?» Costa asked.

«Her daughter, our grandma!» Kate whispered.

They bought so much candy and ice-cream that they had two large packages. The children and Great-Grandma argued about where to hide everything so that they would not catch Grandma Masha's eye.

Soon they were already at home. While Vicky rang the bell, Peter hid behind a car with two bags in order to sneak in all the sweets unnoticed. The door opened and they went in. A towel was lying on the table. A huge apple pie was cooling on the towel.

Grandma Masha stood at the table and looked at them with a slight squint. «Returned, schemers? Oh, well! Sit down for tea!» she invited them.

Vicky looked at the steaming hot pie and felt uncomfortable. «Oh! And we discussed how to outwit you!» she said innocently.

Grandma Masha waved her hand. «All right! Everyone wash hands! Do you know how many germs are on a square centimetre of skin?» she said sternly, but everyone was already rushing to hug her because they suddenly felt that she was nice.

«Good when you have a grandma!» Vicky said at night, when the children were already in bed and Grandma had gone downstairs to take Great-Grandma Zina's blood pressure.

«Yeah, not bad. Only she does not last for long!» Peter said in a knowing voice. The wall in his room was thin, made of plasterboard, and one could easily talk right through it.

«Why?»

«Well, I already noticed this long ago. Grandma Masha's orderliness lasts for three weeks a year. Then she's exhausted and saves up energy the whole year for these three weeks. Well, like a race car. The more powerful the engine, the higher fuel consumption,» Peter explained.

Kate chuckled. «And our parents aren't orderly and that's precisely why they last the whole year?» She specified.

«Well, practically… Still, it's great to have an orderly grandma!»