I was not born to be a lady of leisure. I was not a doll, to be dressed up. I was not Celine Varens. I was Jane Eyre, a plain, hardworking governess, and I would not change.
half-comprehended notions that float dim through children’s brains, but strangely impressive. The book contained pictures, and each picture told a story. These stories were as interesting as the tales Bessie sometimes narrated on winter evenings when she was in good humour and fed our attention with passages of love and adventure from old fairy tales and other ballads.
He said that she was the daughter of a French opera-dancer, Celine Varens, whom he had loved passionately once. She called him her Apollo Belvidere and he thought he was her idol, though he was ugly.
After a while, I came past a little farmhouse, and saw a man sitting outside the door, having his supper. Next to him on a little table were half a loaf of bread and a block of cheese.
By now, I was so hungry I could not stop myself. I leaned over the wall and called: “Please will you give me a piece of your bread, sir? I’m very hungry.”
As I walked down the main street, I knew I looked like a respectable lady, with my nice dress, bonnet and shawl. But hunger gnawed away at my insides, and I had not a penny to my name. In truth, I was no more than a poor vagrant. If I wanted food, I would have to beg for it.
But I was alive, and I had to find myself work of some kind. So I stood up, put on my shawl and bonnet, and tramped back to the road. I did not look at the signpost again. Instead, I simply chose the road that led away from the sun, so that it would not shine into my eyes, and walked and walked.
Over and over he begged me to stay with him, to comfort him, to be with him forever – and I longed to say yes. But I could not. My trust in him had been ruined.
I have another house, called Ferndean, to live in.”
“Then take Adèle with you when you go,” I said, sobbing. “You’ll need the company.”
“But you will come with me, Jane, won’t you? We’ll live there together.”
“No, I will not. I love you, but I cannot live with you while you have a wife. I will not be a mistress.”