The gun was lightly covered with rust. This I noticed once I’d already got it home. Never mind, there’s some sunflower oil in the little office kitchen, and that’ll do for now. Then I’ll find some motor oil in one of the flats and give it a proper greasing. After tinkering around for a while, I manage to strip the gun down. As I thought, the shooter hadn’t managed to chamber another round. I pulled an empty cartridge smelling of gunpowder out of the barrel. According to the marking on the bottom, it’s a twelve-gauge. That’s a big hole – almost two centimetres across. Shit, so how big’s a twenty-gauge? You’d need to put it on wheels. Or am I confusing something? I must be, because I remember they used to talk about a twenty-gauge as a ladies’ gun. It must be some kind of inverse proportion. As for ammo, there were only three shells. Two of them had a flying duck drawn on the casing, while the third had four zeros stamped on the paper at the tip. So? What does that mean? Which one should I put in first?

Having cleaned off the gun, I put it back together. Turns out it’s a lot easier than reassembling a printer after servicing. That’s something else I did once upon a time, and it wasn’t just printers I fixed, there was some more serious kit as well. I try using the pump-action, pulling the wood under the barrel backwards and forwards. The barrel jumps up.

No, it’s not my game. I just can’t get the hang of swinging round and aiming quickly. What about those amazing manoeuvres they do in the movies? But then again, that’s the movies. Where everybody shoots like a trained sniper. Whereas my doubts in my ability to shoot accurately are well-founded. If I’m lucky, I’ll be able to hit a door at ten meters!

For ammo, I’ll have to go and see the shopkeeper – he’s bound to have some! He must be supplying his guards, which means he’s got a store. Or at least he knows where to find some. Which means I’d better start looking for more empty bottles.

So once again I’m back in the basement at the water pipe. I really do need to think of something else. While this water business does stop me dying from hunger, the career prospects are rather limited. How much of this water does the shopkeeper need? And sooner or later even plastic bottles are going to be scarce. Then what? I don’t have an answer yet.

When he frisked me this time, the guard showed no surprise at what he found.

“Got yourself a piece, eh?”

“Just a little one,” I agree.

There’s no point dicking around. I want to be friends with these guys.

“See the box over there?” asks the guard. “Put it in there.”

The guy behind the grille with the assault rifle tenses. You never know.

The shopkeeper (whose name, it turns out, is Artemiy) chucks all the bottles into a crate.

“What do you need?”

“Ammunition. Twelve-gauge.”

He purses his lips and looks sceptically at the bottles I’ve brought.

“Well, I can give you a couple of packs. Birdshot or buckshot? I can give you three of those.”

“What about fifty-fifty?”

“What?”

“I mean half of one and half of the other. How many shells in a pack?”

The shopkeeper grins.

“So, you’re a mathematician. Ten shells in a pack. So, a pack of birdshot and…” he thinks for a second, “a dozen of buckshot.”

“Fifteen.”

We agree to fourteen.

In the course of discussion, I discover that buckshot means balls of around four to five millimetres. Considering the large gauge of my gun, that’s more than sufficient for close quarters, but I’m not going to hit anything on the other side of the road unless it’s an elephant.

On my way out, I discover that my not-quite-sawn-off has been unloaded. The shells are arranged neatly beside it.

“In future,” explains the guard, “you do that yourself. If you come in here with a loaded gun, we’ll put you down.”

“Meaning?”

“Meaning we’ll blow your fucking brains out, and all that jazz.”

They’re a friendly bunch, aren’t they?

I hide the gun under my jacket and step out into the street. Those thugs that jumped me last time have a lookout post, if that’s what you’d call it, somewhere round here. From there they can see everyone who goes into or comes out of the shop. Now it makes sense why some of the paths to the door have been made so difficult – to ensure everyone approaches the same way. There’s a tree down suddenly on one side, or elsewhere a pile of rubbish has appeared out of nowhere – somehow the bins have turned themselves over. Bins that were never there before anyway. Most people don’t want to climb through a stinking pile of trash, or crawl through the earth under a fallen three. They’ll take the cleaner, more comfortable path.

So, that’s the deal. There aren’t many those wankers, and they can’t cover every approach to the shop. That’s how they’ve made their life easier. Where did they meet me last time? Next to that building there. Which means? They saw me, got ready, and jumped straight at me. And one of them did stink a bit, like he’d come from the trash. So, where are they sitting?

Wherever it is, they must also be able to see the flat they told me to take the stuff to. Otherwise they’d have to keep running backwards and forwards. If they see you go in, that means you’re paying your ten percent and everything’s OK. They don’t need to collect the stuff till evening. But if you don’t go in, they have to be ready to catch you.

It’s that building over there. None of the others are as conveniently placed. Elsewhere there are fences in the way. Making holes in them doesn’t make sense. Then anyone could use them and avoid the carefully laid path. The wankers wouldn’t like that.

I wait for a couple of seconds in the cover provided by the wall of the building and the protruding rubbish bin. I quickly put four shells in the magazine, slide the pump (I’ve learned how), and the gun’s loaded.

Five shots. In theory, that’s five deaths. If I actually end up shooting. But I know I’m going to have to. There’s no good way this ends up. And if they see my gun there’ll be all hell to pay. They don’t have guns. Well, maybe they have pistols. And I’m sure they’ve got knives, which no doubt they’ll cut me up with to get rid of their fear of an armed man. I’ve read about how it works. If they did have a gun, then they’d have waved it round under my nose already. For the sake of good form, as they say, and for greater persuasion. They’d have made me sniff it.

I loosen the strap I’m holding the gun with slightly, wrapping it in a loop around the round cover of the magazine. My shotgun sling (that’s the proper name for it, a shotgun sling!) is pretty new, with plastic buckles that can easily be adjusted. If you slip the loop from the magazine, the shotgun drops out from under my coat and hangs on a long strap, which makes it easy to handle. Sadly, this isn’t my invention, it’s something else I saw in a film. True, they did it with submachine guns there, but what’s the difference? It’s not very comfortable, so you can’t go far with it, but then I don’t have to.

And here’s the entryway I was told to bring my offering to in return for their so-called protection. To be fair, they’ve chosen the place pretty well. No need to make a special detour.

As I come inside, I unfasten my jacket and carefully step over the wire of their alarm system. It’s still in the same place. There’s no point announcing my presence too early. Even more so as I’m coming up the stairs and not down, and the tripwire’s designed to catch someone coming down from upstairs.

The apartment turns out to be empty. Nobody’s bothered to wait for me. You’d guess the wankers have worked out that it may not only be conscientious payers that want to come in here. There really is a box in the kitchen, and right now it’s completely empty. Either they’ve already collected their bounty, or nobody’s brought them anything yet. Not all of the shopkeeper’s customers can be so helpless that they have to pay those arseholes off. I’d like to see them try to shake down those armed gorillas. In fact, I’d pay anything for it. I look into the neighbouring room and find what I need. I drag out a writing desk and use it to block the doorway to the kitchen. I also turn the kitchen table around. Now, in order to get from the hallway into the kitchen, they’ll have to get through my obstacle course, which isn’t easy as I’ve left only the tiniest gap. I then leave the apartment and go back out on the street, and turn in completely the opposite direction from the way I went last time, just to make sure no one intercepts me on the way home. They should have seen my visit to the apartment, and that means there’ll be somebody along soon to pick up my payment.

As I now more or less know the way, I make my journey considerably more quickly than the time before. It helps that the fire escape is completely out of sight from where I assume their lookout post to be. It’s wide open from the other side, however, so it’s best to get up fast. Across the roof, onto the familiar balcony, and through the apartment to the staircase without incident. Slipping cautiously into the kitchen, I take up position in the corner so I that I can’t be seen from the street. Just in case. I sit and wait. It’s a shame I don’t smoke, or the time might pass a little faster. I can’t snooze, and it’s not a good idea to relax too much.

So, will the courier be here soon? If my calculations are correct, he should be along any minute. At some point in my checkered career, I worked in logistics and had to organize all sorts of things. You get used to assessing a huge variety of factors, among them the walking speed of a courier on foot. So I do have some reason to believe my estimates are reasonably accurate.

And there’s the scrape of the door downstairs! Who’ll be the lucky first visitor? Well, I really couldn’t have hoped for better! Standing in the doorway is none other than the original lookout I saw from the balcony on my first visit. I’ve got a bone to pick with you, my friend.

“Waaaaa?” He clearly wasn’t expecting to find anyone here, and voices his confusion.

“Sit down!” I nod towards the floor.

“What the fuck?” shouts the little tit.

And then he notices the shotgun poking pointedly out from under the table.

He really is a little tit, too. Skinny and unkempt. You’d think he’d just be a hanger-on in most groups, but he’s trying to puff out his chest. You can see why, too. A dickhead like that will have spent all his life being kicked around – sent off to buy beer, cigarettes and girls. Then suddenly he gets to be the one shouting orders, and he’s got friends at his back to stop him getting punched in his ugly face. He must have liked the feeling, and decided that he was born to rule after all. Now suddenly he was being knocked back into his customary cringing position. He didn’t like it one bit.

“What do you think?” starts the wanker, still holding out hope.

Well, he should be a little more observant, shouldn’t he? Hasn’t he noticed there’s a chopping board right next to me on the table? It’s a good old-fashioned one, made of thick wood. Very comfortable to cut on. A useful thing in all sorts of ways. Easy to throw, too. So, when the heavy piece of wood hits our dickhead right in the middle of his ugly face, he finally stops talking. All that time playing table tennis turned out to have a use after all – it was a good, powerful throw with a good, powerful effect. The guy choked up, and all the words he was planning to let fly in my direction remained stick in his throat.

“Did anyone give you permission to talk?” I ask sweetly. I borrow the manner from our old HR director, who always kept a calm, pleasant tone. He knew what he was doing. It sounds like you’re being polite, but it’s very difficult to argue with.

The dickhead says nothing, just wipes the blood from his split lip. Sensible of him. Also standing on the table is an iron. It’s old, too, the sort made from actual iron. Get hit with that in the chops and you really won’t be saying anything. Ever again.

“Speak out of line again, and I’ll shoot you in the fucking kneecaps. Then I’ll leave you here, and by the time your friends come running to find you’ll have bled out all over the floor. Nod if you understand!”

I shout the last words at the top of my voice, and see the dickhead shudder before he nods. Even I’m afraid of what I’m saying. Afraid because I really am going to have to do all that. It may be easy to pull a trigger in the movies, but what’s it like in real life? So that’s why I’m shouting, to get my own nerve up.

“Where are your mates?”

“Not far. Number ten on Karpov Street.”

“Flat number?”

“Sixteen.”

I know the building. There used to be a shop on the ground floor. So, the bad guys are up on the fourth floor. Makes sense, there’s a pretty good view from there.

“How many of them?”

“Two.”

“The ones who were with you last time?”

“One of them – Big Misha. Valera stayed at the base.”

Ah, so they have a base. That’s worth knowing.

“Where’s your base and how many people there?”

Gabbling and mixing his words, the dickhead hurries to tell me everything he knows. Why’s he got so much to say, and why so loud?

“Quiet now! Keep your mouth shut. If you even yawn, you’re fucked!”

Something’s not right here. Sure, he’s frightened, and there’s still blood flowing from his split lip, but that’s no reason to make so much noise.

I move further back into the corner and bring my gun to the ready. The front door is slammed open with a crash, hitting the wall so hard that there’s a shower of plaster and dust from above. Two male figures appear in the doorway.

Bam! It’s quite something. I mean, of course I’ve seen people fire shotguns before. I’ve even fired one myself. Out hunting. In the open air. Not in the narrow hallway of somebody’s flat. It’s not the same effect at all.

The pane of the window behind me shatters loudly – presumably from the sound of the charge. There’s a whistling noise as buckshot ricochets off the walls – the first shell was buckshot, just to make sure there was plenty to go round.

There was plenty. Blood’s streaming from the wanker’s face, and it looks like he caught some shot. One of the new arrivals is pressed against the wall, hit in the shoulder. No more fight from him, his right arm’s hanging like a ribbon. The third guy I can’t see, or at least not all of him. Just his legs. The round knocked him back out onto the landing. Or did he drop down himself. Either way, his legs are only twitching slightly. Is he dead? Fuck!

Gradually the sound returns to my ears, and the smoke drifts outside with the breeze. I’m in shock, but you’ve got to assume it was worse for the others. The barrel was pointing their way, after all. Their ears would have got the worst of the sound, too. Shit!

I pull at the wood under the barrel to chamber another round. I’d be a real idiot to let them jump me now. From what I can see, however, they’ve shat themselves. The wanker’s lip is trembling, and then he starts to sob out loud. You can’t blame him. He’s had a wooden board smashed in his face and barrel of buckshot straight past his head. I’d have shut down completely, I guess.

“Get down on the ground!”

Both of them drop so fast the floor shakes.

I stand up and lean sideways to look at the front door. I can’t see shit, just the legs of the guy lying there. The bastard’s still alive – his legs are twitching violently.

“Hey, you! Pull your friend inside.”

The guy with the injured shoulder nods with fear – sure, sure. With his good hand he grabs a boot and drags the guy on his back into the cover of the hallway.

Fucking hell! His whole chest’s been ripped open! His prospects don’t look great.

“Are you armed?”

“I’ve got a knife,” the wounded guy says hoarsely.

“Slit his throat, then throw the knife over here on the floor!”

If someone ordered me to do that, I doubt that I could manage it. Sliding a knife across the throat of a living human being… no, I couldn’t do it. But if you can’t do it yourself, get someone else to! That was our company motto back in the army, as I remember. And if this guy has any reservations, he doesn’t show them. He finishes off his friend with a single cut. Not fun to watch, but the knife came clattering across the floor.

“Right,” I say hoarsely. I’m finding it hard to talk, but I guess for the bad guys my croaking sounds scary enough. At any rate, the two of them flinch when I speak.

“I don’t want to see your faces round here again, ever! Understood? Otherwise…” I look meaningfully towards the door. “Any questions?”

They both shake their heads, almost in tempo.

“Turn out your pockets!”

All sorts of crap falls out onto the floor. Huh, the wanker had another knife stuck in his belt.

“You fucker!” The words came out with some feeling. “I should have shot you straight away! Be grateful for my good nature.”

The two of them vanished into thin air.

Among the junk they left behind was a pretty good knife. I’ll keep that. It’s certainly better than my pocket knife. Some hardtack and a couple of tins of food. Not too bad.

I move over to the third member of the merry band. So, then, what did they call you? Big Misha, wasn’t it? Well, size didn’t help you here. It wasn’t what I’d planned, and I can’t say I wanted to shoot you to be honest. That’s just how it went down. The door slammed open, and my finger twitched automatically. It just so happened that my finger was on the trigger at the time. Basically, it’s bad luck, old boy. But then I find he has a revolver in his pocket. Not such bad luck after all, at least for me.

I hear movement, turn to my right, and I’m looking at the black hole of a gun barrel. It’s the shopkeeper’s regular guard. He’s calm and composed, holding his gun with confidence, unlike some of us.