Цитаты из книги «Once Cold»

Jake was obsessed with past failures, especially his own. Doubtless he was keenly aware of the anniversary of Tilda Steen’s death. He’d probably also noted the anniversari

Of course, Jilly didn’t mean to be hurtful – quite the opposite. The younger girl was proud to have a law enforcement

prepare herself, Riley looked at a framed picture

* Riley was just a little girl. She was walking through some woods at night. She was scared, but she wasn’t sure why. After all, she wasn’t really lost in the woods. The woods were close to a highway, and she could see cars going back and forth. The glow from a streetlight and a full moon both lit her way among the trees. Then her eyes fell on a row of three shallow graves. The dirt and stones that covered the graves were shifting and heaving. Women’s hands clawed their way out of the graves. She could hear their muffled voices say … “Help us! Please!” “I’m just a little girl!” Riley answered tearfully. Riley snapped awake in bed. She was trembling. It’s just a nightmare, she told herself. And it wasn’t especially surprising that she’d dream about the Matchbook Killer’s victims the night after she’d talked to Paula Steen. She took several long, deep breaths. Soon she felt relaxed again, and her consciousness started to fade into sleep. But then … She was still just a little girl. She was in a candy store with Mommy, and Mommy was buying her lots of candy. A scary man wearing a stocking over his head came toward her. He pointed a gun at Mommy. “Give me your money,” he told Mommy. But Mommy was too scared to move. The man shot Mommy in the chest, and she fell down right in front of Riley. Riley started screaming. She whirled around looking for someone to help. But suddenly, she was in the woods again. The women’s hands were still groping out of the three graves. The voices were still calling … “Help us! Please!” Then Riley heard another voice beside her. This one sounded familiar … “You heard them, Riley. They need your help.” Riley turned and saw Mommy. She was standing right there, her chest bleeding from her bullet wound. Her face was deathly pale. “I can’t help them, Mommy!” Riley cried. “I’m just a little girl!” Mommy smiled. “No, you’re not just a little girl, Riley. You’re all grown up. Turn around and look.” Riley turned and found herself looking into a full-length mirror. It was true. She was a woman now. And the voices were still calling out … “Help us! Please!” Riley’s eyes snapped open again. She was shaking even more than before, and gasping for breath. She remembered something that Paula Steen had said to her. “My daughter’s killer will never be brought to justice.” Paula had also said … “It was never your case to begin with.” Riley felt a new sense of determination. It was true – the Matchbook Killer hadn’t been her case before. But she could no longer leave it to the past. At long last, the Matchbook Killer had to be brought to justice. It’s my case now, she thought.

* Later that evening, Riley looked in on the girls. Jilly was in April’s room, silently doing homework. April looked up and said, “We’re OK, Mom.” Riley felt a flood of relief. As sad as she felt for both girls, she was proud that April was comforting Jilly. “Thank you, sweetheart,” she said, and quietly closed the door. She thought that April would talk to her about Ryan whenever she felt ready. But Jilly might have a harder time of it. As she went back downstairs, Riley found herself thinking about what Gabriela had said. “The girls need a father figure.” She looked at the phone. Blaine had made it clear that he would like to get their relationship going again. But what would he actually expect of her? Her life was packed full with kids and work. Could she really include anyone else in it right now? Would she just disappoint him? But, she admitted, I do like him. And he clearly liked her. Surely there had to be room in life for… She picked up the phone and dialed Blaine’s home number. She was disappointed to get his answering machine, but not surprised. She knew that his work at the restaurant often kept him away from home at nights. At the sound of the beep, Riley left a message. “Hi, Blaine. This is Riley. Listen, I’m sorry if I acted a little distant at the game this afternoon. I hope I didn’t seem rude. I just want to say, if your dinner offer still stands, count us in. Give me a call whenever you can to let me know.” Riley immediately felt better. She went to the kitchen and poured herself a drink. As she sat sipping it on the living room couch, she found herself remembering her conversation with Paula Steen. Paula had seemed at peace with the fact that her daughter’s killer would never be brought to justice. “It’s nobody’s fault, and I don’t blame anybody,” Paula had said. Those words now troubled Riley. It just seemed so unfair. Riley finished her drink, took a shower, and went to bed. She’d barely fallen asleep when the nightmares started.

* Riley was still thinking about Blaine over dinner that evening. She wondered if maybe she’d made a mistake. Maybe she should have accepted his invitation. She liked him and missed him. He’d even invited Gabriela, which was sweet. As a restaurateur, he had appreciated Gabriela’s cooking in the past. And Gabriela had made a typically delicious Guatemalan meal tonight – chicken in onion sauce. The girls were enjoying it and chattering about this afternoon’s soccer victory. “Why didn’t you come to the game, Gabriela?” April asked. “You’d have enjoyed it,” Jilly said. “Sí, I enjoy the futbol,” Gabriela said. “Next time I will come.” This seemed to Riley like a good time to mention something. “I’ve got good news,” she said. “I talked to my Realtor today, and she thinks that selling your grandfather’s cabin should bring in quite a bit of money. It should really help with college plans – for both of you.” The girls were pleased and talked about that for a while. But soon Jilly’s mood seemed to darken. Finally Jilly asked Riley, “Who was that guy at the game with you?” April said, “Oh, that was Blaine. He used to be our neighbor. He’s Crystal’s dad. You’ve met her.” Jilly ate in sullen silence for a few moments. Then she said, “Where’s Ryan? Why wasn’t he at the game?” Riley gulped anxiously. She’d noticed earlier that Ryan had come to the house during the day to take his things. It was time to tell the girls the truth. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell everybody,” she began. But she had trouble finding the right words. “Ryan … says he needs some space. He’s – ” She couldn’t bring herself to say more. She could see by the girls’ faces that she didn’t need to. They understood all too well what she meant. After a few seconds of silence, Jilly burst into tears and fled the room, hurrying upstairs. April quickly followed to console her. Riley realized that April was accustomed to Ryan’s on and off attentions. These disappointments must still hurt, but she could handle them better than Jilly could. Sitting at the table with only Gabriela, Riley started feeling guilty. Was she completely incapable of maintaining a serious relationship with a man? As if reading her thoughts, Gabriela said, “Stop blaming yourself. It is not your fault. Ryan is a fool.” Riley smiled sadly. “Thanks, Gabriela,” she said. It was exactly what she needed to hear. Then Gabriela added, “The girls need a father figure. But not someone who will come and go like that.” “I know,” Riley said.