© Artsun Akopyan, 2020

ISBN 978-5-0050-7047-0

Created with Ridero smart publishing system

About the Book

The difference between typical male and female behavior is so big that the two genders seem to have come from different planets. Is this correct? Of course not. The truth is, a wrong social stereotype can lead you to serious problems in your personal relationships.

Behavior depends much more on temperament and educational background than gender. However, being aware of temperamental traits like “a choleric person gets angry very easily” and “a melancholic person is sensitive” is not enough to see through a man. You need to know what to expect from him in various situations at home and in public, and how to get along with him in the best possible way to ensure a long and healthy relationship.

The purpose of the book “Four Role Types of Men” is not only to help you explain some of your partner’s previous actions, but to foresee future actions as well – without any chiromancy, astrology or card-reading. Find out what you can do to change aspects of his behavior, and what cannot be changed in him no matter what you do. Learn how your relationship can benefit from his personal virtues, and how you can overcome his faults and weaknesses. In short, gain the knowledge you need to be happy with your chosen one.

About the author

Artsun Akopyan is a writer and freelance translator based in Russia. His publications include books for English language learners, short stories and novels, translations of fiction and nonfiction books from English into Russian, and applied psychology books.

Introduction

She fell in love – got married – gave birth to a baby – and got divorced…

About half of all women in the US and many other countries follow this same, unenviable path. What is the reason behind this unfortunate development? A standard reply to this question is “He and I were incompatible”. But what is the correct answer?

Misunderstanding. That is the root of all evil. What makes a loving man change for the worse only a couple of months or years after the wedding? What causes him to start raising his voice? What compels him to use violence? What is the reason behind his drinking and cheating?

For women that fail to find an answer to these questions, a corny phrase comes to mind: “All men are the same.” Or even a ruder version of the thought: “All men are trash”. Simple and clear. Is this popular wisdom correct?

No. This generalizing idea is quite wrong. Half of the population cannot simply be scum. You will never find deep and eternal love if you consider men to be worthless beings. On the other hand, by trying to reform a man by giving him lectures or going into hysterics, you might achieve the opposite effect, by convincing him that “all women are bitches”.

Who will benefit from this response? Only his secret lover, if he already has one. The cunning lady will try to prove that she is the exception to the rule, that she is an angel who came down from the sky especially for her man, and that there is no one like her on the earth.

Is this OK with you? If yes, you may stop reading. If not, let us look into the male psyche so that your union will not fall apart when tested by reality. We will start our analysis with a simple question: are all men really the same?

Chapter 1: All men are different

About half of the world’s population consists of men, and they are quite easy to distinguish from women. They have wider eyebrows, larger noes, thinner lips, and sharper chins.

And yet they are not molded to the same pattern. A man’s face can be distinguished not only from a female one, but also from another man’s, even if they belong to the same nationality. Representatives of the stronger sex also differ from each other in age, height, figure, hair color… In short, the appearance of men varies across the board, unless they are twins.

But perhaps the phrase “all men are the same” is true when it comes to behavior? No, there is no common standard for this factor either.

One man is an adventurer, another is a control freak.

One counts the change at a cashier’s desk carefully, another shoves it into his pocket without looking.

One chatters like a magpie, another prefers not to waste words.

One constantly violates the rules of the road, another does it accidentally for the first time in ten years (and probably receives a large fine).

One is a football fan, another is mad about philosophy, poetry, and Renaissance paintings.

One was kicked out of school because of academic failure, another received three different university diplomas and is fluent in five languages.

The list of examples is endless. The conclusion is unequivocal: each man behaves in his own way. Even twins who grew up in the same family act differently!

Maybe “all men are the same” when it comes to their attitude towards women? This is also incorrect!

Do you require examples? No problem!

There are men who believe in eternal love and devote poems to ladies. They are called hopeless romantics. There are others who believe in the power of money, and order women to their house by phone. They are considered cynics.

There are men who are submissive to their wives. They are nicknamed henpecked husbands. There are other husbands who only obey their dark desires. They are called petty tyrants.

There are those who reject marriage in principle. They are confirmed bachelors. There are those who marry several times in a row and never file for divorce. Those are polygamists.

What is the conclusion? Are all men so different that they have nothing in common?

As you know, there are no two people on earth with identical fingerprints, faces and skull shapes. The same applies to behavior. Nevertheless, we as humans strive to find out what standard the people around us belong to, and to categorize them into groups. Firstly, by gender, then, by age, height, shape, color, physical attractiveness, and behavior.

Why do we do this?

Because we as human-beings seek to understand whether a person is like us or different, attractive or not, dangerous or harmless.

Behavioral typing is important for us. It helps to understand what to expect from a person in various situations.

If you know that a man is a chatterbox, he will most likely prattle endlessly at the next meeting, which will not surprise you. But if he comes tight-lipped, something uncharacteristic of him, you should be wary. Is he ill or angry, or trying to hide something from you?

Uncharacteristic behavior is an alarm. It is a warning that you should keep your eyes open!

Conversely, if a person behaves as usual, you can relax. You know what to expect from them. If you understand the man correctly, chances are there will be no unpleasant surprises.

But what if you do not understand him well?

The consequences can be painful. You expect praise from the man, but find out he is irritated for an unknown reason. You may think that he is delighted with your new hairstyle, but then notice that he’s staring at your friend’s tattoo. You hope to enjoy a romantic evening with lots of hugs, but he ends up tinkering with his car in the garage until midnight, returning all covered up with black oil, a stench of which drowns out your new perfume. Great expectations do not coincide with reality. Who is to blame? You. Those were your expectations.

Wishful thinking leads to unfavorable outcomes. You invent a person’s identity and attribute it to your chosen person. After that, you wonder why his behavior seems so strange.

It is not strange at all. Your man behaves in accordance with his “role type’ derived from his temperament, upbringing, education and life experience. He interacts with the world in a way that is natural for him, not for you.

There are several types of men in terms of their interaction with the world. Therefore, guides like “How to keep a man attracted to you” can be useless, and sometimes even harmful. You cannot make everyone fit into the same pattern! What one likes leaves another indifferent and repels a third. The odor that attracted your first boyfriend can cause an allergic reaction in your second one!

To avoid painful quarrels, try to make out who your chosen one is. Separate features like “tall,” “broad-shouldered” and “clever” are not enough, you need to use a more nuanced approach.

How can you do this? How can you understand what “role type’ he is?

First, you need to figure out what role types there are. This will be discussed in the next chapter.

Chapter 2: Everyone has a role

Shakespeare once wrote, “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.”

Actually, for the stage to function, other people besides the “players” are necessary. Someone has to write the script, someone needs to organize the sale of tickets, and of course there must be an audience to watch the performance. In total, we have four roles performing on the stage. Let us refer to them as the following:

– Scriptwriter;

– Director;

– Actor;

– Spectator.

Why four exactly?

Because they correspond to four types of temperament discovered by the ancient Greek physician Hippocrates and described by Galen, a Roman physician of Greek origin. The temperament types are well known: phlegmatic, sanguine, choleric, and melancholic. Each temperament behaves differently in society, and each subconsciously seeks to play the role that corresponds with their higher nervous activity type. In other words, the four stage characters are a social expression of temperaments, their manifestation in public life. Or, to put it even simpler, they are the role types.

Your man may not fully correspond to one of these temperaments, but the most important features will certainly coincide with your personality and disposition.

Let us see how these types differ from each other.